


Step By Step

by pyninja



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Homophobia, I'm sorry i can't tag, Light Angst, M/M, i'm also sorry if you're about to read this mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 10:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11011938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyninja/pseuds/pyninja
Summary: "Almost defeatedly, Kyungsoo kissed him back, tasting the vodka shots and something akin to fries in Baekhyun’s mouth."Or,Kyungsoo doesn't know what to do with Baekhyun.





	Step By Step

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks [@livcanary](http://archiveofourown.org/users/livcanary) for checking this over for me (▰˘◡˘▰)

_“I-I like you.”_

A chorus of _aws_ came from the rest of the class as they watched the generic lead girl handed the generic lead guy a box of chocolates and then running away in, what Kyungsoo could only deem as, mortification.

“Alright, that’s all for today. I want you all to write down your latest prediction,” Professor Kim said from the front of the class.

“They’re obviously going to end up together, right? That’s the only prediction I’ve put down so far,” a girl behind Kyungsoo said to her friend.

“I put that they’re going to get together and then split up and then end up marrying each other,” her friend laughed. “I heard from last year’s class that there’s a huge twist at the end.”

Jongdae jostled Kyungsoo as they got up to leave. 

“What do you think is going to happen?”

Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulders as he adjusted his glasses. “I don’t know.”

“What did you predict?” Jongdae asked as they stepped out into the hallway.

“That someone is going to die.”

~

When Kyungsoo finally got to his apartment, there were giggles coming from Baekhyun’s bedroom. Sighing, he pulled out a bottle of water from the fridge and went to grab a few of his textbooks before leaving the apartment again. Before he made it down the hall, Baekhyun came running with a hastily thrown on shirt and sweatpants.

“Yo, Soo! Where are you going?” His feet were bare as they made muffled thumps against the hallway’s cheap carpeting.

Stopping to let Baekhyun catch up, he replied, “The library.”

“Can I come with?”

Kyungsoo looked Baekhyun up and down, taking in his appearance.

“I can be ready in five minutes,” Baekhyun said in response to Kyungsoo’s disapproving eyebrow raise.

“Okay,” Kyungsoo relented. “I’ll be waiting downstairs.”

Kyungsoo turned around and began walking downstairs before Baekhyun could say anything else. He should’ve just said no, but it was always hard to refuse Baekhyun anything. As he walked down the stairs he tried not to think about what Baekhyun was doing with who. 

Turned out he didn’t need to as Baekhyun walked down with Taeyeon a few minutes later. Kyungsoo gave Taeyeon a small bow and a quiet, “Sunbae-nim.” 

Her smile was almost as bright as Baekhyun’s as she patted him on the head and waved goodbye to the two of them. He wished it had been someone else, like Soojung or Sehun, because he actually liked Taeyeon and he couldn’t bring himself to hate her. Pushing these thoughts away, Kyungsoo turned to see what Baekhyun had come down in.

As if he was reading his mind, Baekhyun turned in a circle showing off his ratty sweatshirt and not-yet-smelly jeans that he hadn’t washed in about two weeks.

“Better?” Baekhyun grinned and looked to Kyungsoo.

“Better.” 

Baekhyun slung an arm around Kyungsoo’s leaner frame, burying his face in Kyungsoo’s neck for a second and laughing into his shoulder. “You’re grumpy today.”

Holding still, Kyungsoo tried to ignore Baekhyun’s breath at the nape of his neck and roughly shoved Baekhyun off of him. Unperturbed, Baekhyun pulled Kyungsoo out of the building towards the direction of the library.

When they walked in, Baekhyun pulled up his hood. Kyungsoo resisted the urge to pinch Baekhyun for sleeping with so many random people as he noticed a group of girls in the direction Baekhyun was avoiding.

“Can’t you keep it in your pants for more than five seconds?” Kyungsoo hissed exasperatedly.

“You should have seen her! She was dressed as a cat and boy could she me-”

“If you were about to say meow, I will push you down these stairs,” Kyungsoo said as they began going up to the second floor.

Baekhyun shut his mouth.

As they walked up, a boy bumped into Baekhyun and all three of them bent down to pick up the scattered papers.

“Baekhyun?” the guy said in a cheerful voice.

Baekhyun tensed for a second, probably worrying that it was another one of his lays. Looking up, his eyes widened as he smiled. “Yixing!”

Kyungsoo handed Yixing the rest of his things and got up, unsure of whether he should leave Baekhyun squatting on the ground to converse with Yixing or not. After standing and blocking a section of the staircase for a good two minutes or so, Kyungsoo decided it’d be best if he left. Lightly tapping Baekhyun’s shoulder, he gestured towards the direction of the second floor. Baekhyun nodded without looking at him and Kyungsoo tried not to feel hurt as he made his way to where Jongdae and Chanyeol were sitting.

“What’s wrong?” Chanyeol asked. “I can almost see the rain clouds above your head.”

Kyungsoo glared at him and set his books down with a loud bang, earning several more glares from around them. He turned to look everyone staring at them in the eye and soon everyone was looking away from Kyungsoo’s murderous expression.

“Is it Baekhyun?” Jongdae asked sympathetically, already knowing the answer. 

“Is it really necessary to have sex with a different person every day? Doesn’t that damage your penis or something?” Kyungsoo asked angrily.

Chanyeol and Jongdae looked at each other knowing exactly what was about to happen.

“And does it have to be with people I don’t despise? Can’t he fuck people like you two?” Kyungsoo’s ears began turning red at the tips and Chanyeol patted him on the back.

Taking a deep breath, Kyungsoo continued, “All I’d like is some clarification.” 

“You could just stop letting him do whatever he wants,” Jongdae said trying, and failing, to dial down the snark. 

Kyungsoo didn’t even glare at him, instead, settling to sigh into the table. “I can’t. I don’t know how to say no to him when he…” Trailing off, Kyungsoo lifted his head and looked at Chanyeol pathetically.

“It’s okay, let it all ou- hey, Baekhyun!” 

Jongdae looked at Kyungsoo in alarm, mouthing, _You invited him?_

Kyungsoo ignored Jongdae and sat straight up as began opening up his books and taking out his notes.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Baekhyun and Chanyeol bro hugged each other and Kyungsoo looked like he was about to rip the pages out of his book. He didn’t know why he felt jealous, but he couldn’t stop the ugly feeling from rising up in his chest. Chanyeol put a hand on Kyungsoo’s knee, most likely noticing Kyungsoo’s inner turmoil, and gave him one of his big, dorky grins. The feeling dissipated rather quickly. 

Baekhyun sat between Kyungsoo and Jongdae as he also began pulling out his supplies. “Dae, what’s up?”

Jongdae gave an easy smile back as he responded, “Nothing much. I heard you’ve been busy.” He wiggled his eyebrows and held in his groan of pain when Kyungsoo kicked his shin.

“Haha, it’s not anything.” Baekhyun looked a little uncomfortable and Kyungsoo must’ve imagined Baekhyun’s eyes darting to his for a moment.

“Okay,” Jongdae hummed.

~

 _“I can’t accept your feelings. I’m not good enough for you.”_ The lead gave the chocolates back to the girl and everyone in the room groaned.

“They aren’t going to go through another two hours of angst, are they? Because I don’t think I can handle that,” Jongdae whispered to Kyungsoo.

“Who knows? I think our professor is actually a sadist.” Kyungsoo and Jongdae looked over at Junmyeon who was watching the screen, fully absorbed. “Can you ask him to let us watch something else?”

Jongdae punched Kyungsoo in the arm. “I did, and he said no.”

“Was that before or after the blowjob?”

Jongdae punched Kyungsoo’s arm a little harder. “Shut up,” he whispered.

A pause, and then, “After, of course.”

Kyungsoo grimaced at the imagery. “I guess we really do have to watch the whole thing.”

~

It was two in the morning when Baekhyun came back home. Kyungsoo lay in bed listening for the sound of another person. Instead, his door opened, and Baekhyun came in alone. Quietly, he shut the door and Kyungsoo heard the sound of clothes being taken off. A moment later the edge of his mattress dipped as Baekhyun climbed under the covers and spooned Kyungsoo.

“You reek,” Kyungsoo said quietly. Of booze and sweat. Perfume and cologne.

Instead of responding, Baekhyun turned Kyungsoo around pressed his lips to Kyungsoo’s.

Almost defeatedly, Kyungsoo kissed him back, tasting the vodka shots and something akin to fries in Baekhyun’s mouth. It was ridiculous and hopelessly futile to resist Baekhyun every time it happened. In the dark, it was always easier to fall into whatever this was. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Baekhyun’s hands began wandering and Kyungsoo had to stop him, not wanting to become another one of the people who went too far with Baekhyun. 

“Go to sleep, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo allowed Baekhyun to wrap his arms around him, and eventually, they both drifted off to sleep.

~

In the morning, Kyungsoo woke to an empty, but still warm bed. Getting up, Kyungsoo sluggishly opened the door and went to brush his teeth. In the kitchen, he heard Baekhyun moving around probably cooking breakfast.

After he finished getting ready, Kyungsoo walked into the kitchen quietly and watched Baekhyun fry up eggs. Next to him was a bottle of ibuprofen and a glass of water.

“Morning,” Kyungsoo said in a husky voice still filled with sleep.

Baekhyun turned around and gave a smile that was a little worn around the edges. “Morning! I made some scrambled eggs.”

“I can see,” Kyungsoo said as he walked towards Baekhyun and took the spatula from him. “Is your hangover bad?”

“Nah, I didn’t drink that much last ni…” Baekhyun trailed off as his eyes darted to Kyungsoo’s lips before trying to laugh it off. “Not enough for a bad hangover. I took some ibuprofen, I should be fine for the rest of the day.”

“Okay, well, try not to drink too much on weekdays.” Kyungsoo began scooping the eggs onto a plate.

“I’ll take that into consideration,” Baekhyun said, giving Kyungsoo a little salute. He began walking towards the door like he was trying to sneak out. “I have a class to get to so,” Baekhyun pointed towards the front door. “Enjoy the eggs!” Baekhyun gave another not-quite-right smile and left quickly.

Kyungsoo stared down at the plate of eggs and trying to ignore the throbbing feeling in his chest.

~

“You need to stop. Put a stop to it. Just say no.” Jongdae mimicked a crossing guard as he put his hands out in front of him.

Chanyeol nodded as he tried to mirror Jongdae’s position, failing. “Yeah, I don’t know how you do it.”

Kyungsoo ignored the two of them and began walking across the street. Chanyeol yelped as Jongdae grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled them across the intersection.

“Yah! Don’t just walk away while I’m talking!” Jongdae yelled to Kyungsoo who was already at the other side.

When Jongdae and Chanyeol caught up to him, Kyungsoo abruptly turned around almost making them all fall over in the process.

“Weren’t you guys best friends?”

Jongdae pointed to himself then to Chanyeol confusedly.

“Both of you. Didn’t they call you the beagles during freshmen year?” Kyungsoo looked at both of them.

Chanyeol and Jongdae each put an arm around Kyungsoo and began walking towards the restaurant they were going to for lunch.

“He’s still a pretty good friend, but he’s been pretty occupied lately.” Jongdae said as the three of them ended up linking arms.

“You mean banging everyone,” Chanyeol whispered under his breath.

Jongdae shoved Chanyeol from behind Kyungsoo as Kyungsoo let go of their arms and began walking dejectedly into the restaurant. Before Chanyeol could follow Kyungsoo in, Jongdae yanked him back by the scruff of his neck.

“Bad timing?” Jongdae asked Chanyeol exasperatedly. 

“What do you mean? You asked Baekhyun the other day!” Chanyeol said defensively.

“Because that was Baekhyun! And it wasn’t right after they had one of their weird unspeakable makeout sessions! You know that Kyungsoo always acts like it’s okay, but it isn’t. I don’t even know who’s blue balling who, but they always avoid each other for days after.”

Chanyeol looked down at the ground, chastised. “Why don’t they just get together?” 

Jongdae sighed. “Because you know Baekhyun refuses to give himself a break.”

“But what about Kyungsoo?”

~

Kyungsoo glanced at the two bickering outside, briefly making eye contact with Chanyeol, and sat down at a table sighing. He really should put a stop to it, but he didn’t know how, or if he wanted to at all.

~

“He doesn’t think Baekhyun likes him back.” Jongdae threw his arms up in the air. “I would help, but I don’t even know where to start.”

~

Jongdae and Chanyeol walked in a minute later looking like they had just had the Most Important Debate of their lives and Jongdae had clearly won. Chanyeol plopped down in front of Kyungsoo and said, “I’m sorry Baekhyun is a dick.”

Kyungsoo looked up from his menu and shook his head giving a small smile. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

The three of them ordered their food and didn’t talk about it for the rest of the week.

~

_“What do you mean you’re not good enough for me? You’re exactly what I like, flaws and all.”_

There were some whoops and some annoyed sighs.

“Why won’t they just get together?” one of the guys asked in a pissed off voice.

Even the girl next to him agreed. “This is ridiculous.”

One of the only people in the room who was enjoying the scene was the professor.

“I think your boyfriend is actually a preteen girl,” Kyungsoo whispered to Jongdae as Junmyeon watched the screen intently.

“Then you clearly haven’t been fucked by him.” Jongdae made an okay sign with his fingers. “With a dick like his, he can be a preteen girl and I’d still go down on him.”

Both of them made a face. 

“Never mind, I didn’t say that.”

~

This time he was back by eleven, alone and already drunk out of his mind.

“Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo hurried to the front door as he helped Baekhyun in.

He tried to lay him down on the couch, but Baekhyun got up and pushed him backward. Kept pushing him until Kyungsoo was pinned against the kitchen counter. Baekhyun leaned in towards Kyungsoo’s lips but stopped when he noticed Kyungsoo’s shut eyes.

Lips barely touching his, Baekhyun moved back. “Why do you always kiss me back?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes flew open as he and Baekhyun looked each other in the eye.

“You should stop. Then maybe I’d be able to stop too.”

For someone who was supposed to be drunk, Baekhyun seemed incredibly lucid.

When Kyungsoo didn’t answer him, Baekhyun laughed bitterly. “I’m going back out. Don’t look for me.”

Baekhyun left slamming the door, while Kyungsoo took a deep breath and tried to lower his heart rate. A few moments later, he rushed after Baekhyun.

Luckily for him Baekhyun was drunk enough that he hadn’t made it out of the hallway yet.

“Baekhyun.”

Turning around slowly, Baekhyun looked at Kyungsoo with bloodshot eyes and an air of exhaustion.

“Don’t go out today.” Kyungsoo held his breath after he said this. Baekhyun may have been drunk, but, even now, even when he probably wouldn’t remember any of this tomorrow, what he said back mattered to Kyungsoo too much. 

“I have to find some company.” Baekhyun said this in a tired voice. “Someone who won’t make me think too much.” A slight smile. A wobbly one that might fall off his face at any moment.

Kyungsoo took a step towards Baekhyun. “I can keep you company.”

It tipped, his smile, falling right off his face to some unreachable place. “Not the kind of company I’m looking for.”

“You’re looking for the wrong kind.” Another step closer.

“If you want to keep me company, it’s going to be the kind where our clothes are off.” Baekhyun was looking at Kyungsoo with a dark, sad gaze.

“Baekhyun, this really isn’t healthy.” Another step.

“You’re always so mean to me when I’m sober. Why are you like this when I’m like _this_?” Baekhyun gestured to himself, looking more and more frustrated.

Kyungsoo reached out and grabbed Baekhyun’s hand tugging it. “I’m only mean to you when I think you can handle it.”

“Who says I can’t handle it right now?” Baekhyun tugged his hand out of Kyungsoo’s.

“You can sleep in my bed.” At this, Baekhyun’s hard look wavered. Kyungsoo slipped his fingers around Baekhyun’s wrist in a firmer grip this time. “We can just sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep.” He sounded more unsure of himself. “I’m looking for something else.”

“No, you’re not. You should get some sleep.” Slowly, Kyungsoo pulled Baekhyun back to their apartment.

~

 _“You don’t understand, I’m a terrible person. When you realize what I’m really like you’ll hate me.”_ The guy was turning away from the girl on the screen.

“Where did the professor even find this?” Kyungsoo asked Jongdae.

“He directed it.”

Kyungsoo choked on his own spit.

~

Baekhyun had ended up kissing him, once again, up against the sink, and Kyungsoo, once again, couldn’t find it in himself to stop him. 

He didn’t understand why it always devolved to this. One of Baekhyun’s hand against the nape of his neck, the other the small of his back, with Kyungsoo's fingers curled in Baekhyun's hair, and when they finally went to bed, Kyungsoo’s lips were still tingling long after Baekhyun had fallen asleep.

Getting up quietly, Kyungsoo pulled on a sweater and his sneakers, closing the door quietly behind him and going to the convenience store. 

When he entered, Jongin was sitting behind the cash register looking bored out of his mind. He cheered up immediately when he saw Kyungsoo.

“Hyung! Wow, what are you doing here at this time?”

“Just bored,” Kyungsoo said, running his fingers along the shelf holding candy and chips.

“Haha, tell me about it.” Jongin stepped out from behind and stood behind the shelf Kyungsoo was at, looking over it. “You look tired. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just…stuff.” He picked up a bag of gummy bears. “Question.”

Jongin grinned. “Shoot.”

“How do you figure someone out?” 

Jongin’s forehead scrunched together as he thought hard about the question. “Like, what kind of person?”

“A person who pretends to be open, but is actually so closed off you don’t know where to start.”

“Um, get them drunk enough so that they spill?” Jongin gave an apologetic grin. “I’m not sure, hyung.”

Kyungsoo set down the gummy bears and bent down to look at the chips. “That definitely won’t work.”

“I mean, if you know them well enough, having a serious discussion with them almost always works. Although it usually takes multiple tries.” 

Kyungsoo got up laughing a little. “Wow, that was very adult of you to say.”

Jongin’s eyes lit up like a puppy’s. “Really?”

Kyungsoo walked to the front register with his original bag of gummy bears and a bar of chocolate. “Really.”

“Three thousand won, hyung.” 

Kyungsoo handed him the money and the gummy bears. “Thanks for the advice.” Kyungsoo patted Jongin’s shoulder as he looked to Kyungsoo practically with hearts in his eyes.

“Thanks, hyung!”

When Kyungsoo got back, he tried to be as quiet as possible, taking off his sweater and shoes. Trying not to disturb Baekhyun, he slipped into the bed carefully, but he felt Baekhyun’s lips press against where his skin of his neck and his shirt met as he pulled Kyungsoo closer.

“Where were you?” 

“Convenience store.”

Baekhyun hummed against him, lips still on his neck.

“Did you get anything?”

“A chocolate bar.”

He felt Baekhyun’s tongue swipe his lips. “Yum.”

Kyungsoo closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep before Baekhyun this time.

~

“Real talk. If things were the way they used to be, I’d definitely have sex with Baekhyun.” Jongdae bumped his shoulders against Chanyeol’s. “Would you?”

“Hm, maybe.” Chanyeol licked at his ice cream trying to catch the parts that were dripping down his cone. 

“I mean he used to be a bit scrawny, but hapkido made him really fit.” Jongdae slurped up his vanilla ice cream loudly. “He’s still really fit.” 

“But what about Junmyeon? Baekhyun or Junmyeon?” Chanyeol asked as he shoved the whole top of his mint chocolate chip into his mouth before wincing at the cold.

“Junmyeon, definitely.”

Kyungsoo ate his chocolate ice cream looking at the two of them through narrowed eyes. “Is your sex as good as your ice cream?”

Jongdae didn’t even bat an eyelash as looked Kyungsoo in the eye. “Are you asking if it’s vanilla or if it’s interesting?”

“Hey! Vanilla can be interesting,” Chanyeol protested.

“I don’t want to hear about how you bone our professor.” Kyungsoo scrunched his face up in distaste as Jongdae licked the ice cream off his lips in an overtly sexual manner.

“Well, I don’t want to tell you.” 

Chanyeol also looked at Jongdae in disgust. “How old is he anyway?”

“Twenty-nine, you assholes.” Jongdae rolled his eyes when Chanyeol and Kyungsoo both stared at him in shock. “He doesn’t look that old.”

Before they could finish their conversation, Baekhyun walked up to them from the direction of the campus. 

“Hey, mind if I join?” 

Chanyeol pulled out one of the empty chairs. “No, not at all.”

He grinned at Kyungsoo and fist bumped Jongdae. “It’s getting warm these days.” He pointedly stared at Kyungsoo’s ice cream.

“No,” Kyungsoo scoffed. “This is mine.”

Baekhyun pouted and looked to Chanyeol and Jongdae instead. Jongdae shook his head, but Chanyeol handed him the rest of his cone.

“I can’t eat anymore, you can have it.”

Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a ridiculous smile and nudged him gently. “Thanks.”

“It’s not even getting warm. It’s December,” Kyungsoo said staring at Baekhyun eating the ice cream unimpressed.

Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders grinning. “Ice cream is for all seasons.” And even Kyungsoo couldn’t argue with that.

~

 _“How do you know what I want?”_ the girl said taking a step towards the guy.

Quite a few people hummed in agreement, a few murmurs of _you tell him, girl_.

“This is so empowering,” Jongdae said pretending to be completely absorbed.

“Right.” Kyungsoo took a quick glance around the room and saw that quite a few people were paying attention now. “Right…”

~

It turned out that Baekhyun would be staying home for the holidays. 

Kyungsoo was too.

The first few days they acted like they did outside of their apartment. Baekhyun pretending to be childish; Kyungsoo acting surly. Baekhyun didn’t even go out for the first week, opting to stay in and watch dramas, often dragging Kyungsoo to watch them with him. But during the second week, Baekhyun got a call and then proceeded to go out three nights in a row, never telling Kyungsoo why and barely coming out during the day. They only saw glimpses of each other when one of them had to use the bathroom or get a glass of water.

Christmas Eve, Baekhyun was gone for all twenty-four hours of it. Kyungsoo called his parents who were traveling overseas and wished them a Merry Christmas the day before, and his parents told him that they had sent him a Christmas present that should come on Christmas. Kyungsoo reminded them that no one was going to deliver anything on Christmas, but he laughed and comforted his mother when she panicked telling her that it was okay, he’d just get it on the twenty-sixth.

The next day, Baekhyun got back at eight in the morning. Kyungsoo was already up, eating breakfast by himself and trying not to pity himself too much. Chanyeol and Jongdae had gone home to their families and he was alone. 

Baekhyun stumbled in, not drunk, but definitely nursing a bad hangover.

“Merry Christmas,” Baekhyun mumbled and then proceeded to go to the bathroom to throw up.

Kyungsoo put down his chopsticks and went to see if Baekhyun was okay. In the bathroom, he was leaned over dry heaving, and after a few more tries, tears began to trickle down his face.

“My parents don’t want to see me. Ever.” Baekhyun leaned over the toilet with his hair all over his face crying while facing his puke. “I’m disgusting or something.”

Kyungsoo began taking Baekhyun’s hat and coat off as he cried, squeezing his shoulder and rubbing his back every once in awhile.

“I mean they’re right, but fuck, it hurts to hear your parents say that to you.” Baekhyun sniffled and pulled leaned his head against the side of the sink. “I’m pretty filthy. I can’t even count how many people I’ve fucked.” He laughed that bitter laugh Kyungsoo heard a few weeks ago. “I can’t be that disgusting if they were willing to have sex with me, but I think I still am.”

Kyungsoo cupped Baekhyun’s face in his hands and pulled it up to look at him. “You’re not disgusting. You’re one of the least disgusting people I know.”

Baekhyun looked at him for a second before pushing Kyungsoo’s hands off of him. “Even like this?” Before Kyungsoo could answer, Baekhyun got up and pushed Kyungsoo out of the bathroom, locking the door.

Kyungsoo stood outside the door, afraid of what Baekhyun could be doing. He heard the faucet begin running and some splashing, like Baekhyun was washing his face. A few minutes later, the toilet flushed and the shower turned on.

Moving away from the door, Kyungsoo went to clear the table of his unfinished breakfast. It was just leftover chicken that Jongin brought to him by the pound every once in awhile. His parents owned a chicken shop, and after that one night, Jongin was determined to pay him back tenfold for the gummy bears.

Eventually the shower stopped running and Baekhyun came back out with only a towel on. He grabbed the ibuprofen and went to his own bedroom, not looking at Kyungsoo once.

Finally at noon, Baekhyun came back out with a dead look in his eyes, still averting his eyes from Kyungsoo’s. The two of them heated up some more chicken and Kyungsoo whipped up some fried rice as they sat down to eat in silence.

Baekhyun was the first to break the silence. “I’m sorry. Can we forget about what just happened?” He finally met Kyungsoo’s eyes, but he still looked so exhausted.

“No,” Kyungsoo said chewing his chicken diligently.

Baekhyun looked at Kyungsoo confused. “No?”

“You don’t have to tell me right away, but I’m not going to pretend it didn’t happen.” Kyungsoo’s gaze didn’t waver as they stared each other down.

“Why?” Baekhyun’s expression was turning frustrated.

“Are you going to keep getting drunk out of your mind to kiss me at ungodly hours of the night?” Baekhyun’s eyes widened. They had never acknowledged what happened in the middle of the night. “Because that’s fine and all, but I’d like to know why you keep doing it. And don’t tell me it’s because you couldn’t find anyone else. We both know that’s not why.”

Baekhyun recovered from his momentary shock. “And if I tell you my problems? What’s that going to do? It won’t solve them.” He looked at Kyungsoo with an angry look in his eyes.

“It might make it easier. Keeping everything to yourself definitely won’t make anything better.”

“Fine. I’m going for a walk. And if you still want to hear when I get back then I’ll tell you,” Baekhyun said pushing his chair out with a loud screech.

Kyungsoo made no move to get up and nodded. “Okay. Go take your walk.”

Huffily, Baekhyun left their apartment closing the door with a resounding bang.

Kyungsoo put his head down on the table and sighed. Well, it took almost two months, but he was taking Jongin’s advice now.

~

_“I don’t want you to regret liking me.”_

__

__

_“I won’t.”_

Jongdae snickered a little. “That’s pretty cheesy.”

When he got no response from Kyungsoo, he looked over to see Kyungsoo watching the scene with intent.

“Oooookay.” He glared at their professor who caught his eye and smiled back at Jongdae. Jongdae mouthed, _You’re ruining my friends._

Junmyeon just winked at him.

~

Baekhyun had been walking for almost six hours. Kyungsoo had a feeling that he was probably looking for every store that was open today. How far he was walking, well, Kyungsoo didn’t think it’d be too far. Baekhyun had probably realized that Kyungsoo was still going to want to know what was going on and was just stalling until Kyungsoo got bored. Good thing Kyungsoo was patient.

When he walked in, it was eight-thirty. Kyungsoo got up immediately and checked Baekhyun’s hands and cheeks to find that they were freezing.

“Shit, Baekhyun, why were you out for so long?”

“To avoid talking to you,” Baekhyun grumbled as Kyungsoo fretted over him and took Baekhyun’s hands between his own bringing them up to his warm them with his breath every once in awhile. Baekhyun watched Kyungsoo with rapt attention, eyes trained on Kyungsoo’s face the entire time.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. You didn’t have to stay out for so long.” Kyungsoo moved onto his other hand and looked up to see why Baekhyun was so quiet.

Baekhyun stared at him with sad eyes. “My parents found out I was bisexual. Never mind the fact that I still liked girls. Liking guys was the worst thing possible for my family. I haven’t gone home in over three years.” Baekhyun’s eyes were still trained on Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo’s on Baekhyun. “I dealt with it fine, the first year and a half, but,” his lips went up in a small smile. “Well, you saw what happened.”

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were just holding hands now.

“Sleeping with people wasn’t that fun, but they made me feel more,” Baekhyun paused as he ran his thumb across Kyungsoo’s knuckles. “Loved.”

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything, just looked down at their hands.

“I don’t talk to my brother or his family. He has really cute kids.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath and tried to move on with his story. “And then I accidentally kissed you once, and you stopped me from going any further. After being accepted so many times, you’re rejection felt so big. So I kept trying, I wanted to see how far I could push you.” Baekhyun eyes darted towards Kyungsoo’s lips again for a second. “You kissed me back, but you never gave me more. I didn’t usually get a compromise. If I kissed someone once, I went all the way. And for some reason, that made me want you more.”

He pulled Kyungsoo up to sit on the couch instead of the ground. “But because of you, I started to want something different. From you. From everyone. But it wasn’t about the sex anymore. You-” Kyungsoo’s eyes widened waiting for Baekhyun to continue. “You made me want more than I could get from the people around me.”

He laughed a little, not a bitter laugh, a genuine one. “I haven’t slept with anyone since the time you brought back that chocolate bar. I couldn’t. You act mean whenever we’re out, but you’re always so nice to me. It’s really not fair when I’m so mean to you.”

“I’m not that nice,” Kyungsoo finally spoke up.

“Yes, you are.” Baekhyun smiled at their laced fingers. “You’re one of the kindest people I know.”

“And you’re one of the most beautiful people I know.” Kyungsoo squeezed Baekhyun’s hand. “You’re not disgusting. The people who said that about you are the disgusting ones.”

Baekhyun let go of one of Kyungsoo’s hands and reached up to cup Kyungsoo’s face, hesitating. “Can I kiss you?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes lit up as he nodded. “Yes.”

Kissing Baekhyun when he tasted like just Baekhyun, no alcohol or drunken haziness, that was something that Kyungsoo lived for.

“Can I kiss you again?” Baekhyun asked when they broke apart. Kyungsoo didn’t even bother answering, pulling him down by the collar and catching his lips in another kiss. 

And another. And another.

~

 _“I’m sorry, I have cancer.”_ The boy dropped her hand with tears in his eyes.

“Oh my god,” Jongdae said, not even whispering anymore. “I demand a refund!” 

Junmyeon looked up in shock. “What?”

The rest of the class began to join in. “A cancer twist?” “Are you serious?” “Please tell me you didn’t write the script.” “You can’t just use that as a cop-out!” “Don’t undermine cancer!”

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows looking at Jongdae. “Wow, that’s kind of cruel to do to your boyfriend isn’t it?”

“He didn’t write it, he just directed it.” Maybe Jongdae was the sadist.

Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I was right. Someone did die.”

“Doesn’t mean that should be your world view on everything.”

“I got a boyfriend even with that worldview, so what you say doesn’t matter,” Kyungsoo said smirking.

Jongdae returned a sarcastic smile. “Good for you.” But they both grinned as they faced the front to watch Junmyeon get personally attacked.

**Author's Note:**

> It's not even close to Christmas, we're almost as far away as we can get. I think I'm not getting along with this weather


End file.
